Keturah-Abraham's Wife After Sarah, an Example for Self Worth

Keturah (ke-tu'-ra), means incense. The name comes from the Hebrew, meaning to burn incense, or sacrifice something that will result in pleasing smoke rising Heavenward to God.

Most every Bible reader and Christian is familiar with Abraham and Sarah. Their love story has inspired and encouraged for millennia. When she died at age one hundred twenty seven, her husband grieved and mourned. He purchased a special piece of land with a cave in which to bury her. Yes, Sarah was well beloved by Abraham.

But life continues, the heart goes on and Abraham did too. He even married again and sired six sons with his new wife, Keturah (Genesis 25:1). His faith and belief in God gave Abraham his son Isaac when he was an old man. Apparently the divine restoration of virility continued into Abraham’s marriage to Keturah. We know very little about her but can determine certain things from the situation in which Keturah found herself.

She was much younger than her husband and followed a first wife who set a very high standard. Sarah was so beautiful that when kings laid eyes on her, they wanted her as a wife. She was the woman chosen to be mother of God’s people, matriarch of the Jewish nation. A successor would need to possess a strong sense of self worth along with great organizational skills.

Abraham was a man with great influence and kept a large camp where people gathered for political and religious meetings. These people would need food, shelter, access to clothing resources and medical care. Just as a wife today generally keeps the home fires burning, so did the wives of Keturah’s time. A well run home, consisting of many tents and families was an important responsibility of a wife.

A second wife must also keep the attention of her husband by being impeccably groomed and well cared for. Most likely Keturah was a young virgin when she married her much older husband. The environment was harsh with hot suns, drying sands and the stress associated with childbirth and motherhood. It seems she was successful because Abraham and Keturah had a large family.

It is interesting to remember that when Abraham was informed of Isaac’s impending birth, he almost complained that he was too old to become a father (Genesis 17:17). Yet, about 40 years after that, he began fathering children with Keturah. She must have been an attractive woman for a man over one hundred years to be, well, interested. He obviously deeply cared for her to conceive six children with her. Her physical appearance is not recorded in the Bible and in fact Keturah is only mentioned four times (Genesis 25:1 and 4; 1 Chronicles 1:32 and 33).

I personally think she was a lovely lady who was intelligent, full of grace, gentle of spirit and meek. Wait a minute. Meek? Isn’t meek a bad thing? No, meek is a wonderful quality in a person. We live in a society that glorifies aggressive and pushy behavior. The “me first” attitude is encouraged and competitiveness is instilled in children at a very young age. Flamboyance is worshipped and extravagance magnified in every news stand magazine.

One who remains quietly reserved, putting others before himself is often the victim of bullies, passed over for promotions and suffers other indignities. Few people understand and appreciate the strength possessed by the meek in spirit.

Meekness is a virtue that is highly underrated in society. It is often confused for weakness. The Miriam Webster Dictionary gives the definition as: “enduring injury with patience and without resentment : mild. 2. : deficient in spirit and courage : submissive. 3. : not violent or strong : moderate”.

This definition is so wrong and a mistaken impression of a trait that God values. Jesus Himself extolled the merits of being meek and in fact was the embodiment of meek. In His famous sermon, we are told the meek will inherit the earth (Matthew 5:5) and share in the perfect new kingdom that He will establish here. Jesus’ reference certainly does not mean weak or easy to push around. Meekness is controlled emotion. The King of meek, who allowed Himself to be beaten and killed was also a person who stood up for what was right and just.

Jesus was stirred to anger in a righteous manner, fashioning a whip and using it on transgressors who defiled the temple. Many currently defile our churches in various ways; committing fraud, adultery, fornication and manufacturing lies about God. Will we handle these actions as the world conducts itself or in a Godly and meek manner? They are to be confronted and never ignored.

Surely Keturah also encountered times that tested her mettle. She probably heard “Sarah didn’t do it that way” or “That is not how we have always done it”. She could allow insecurity and impatience to birth feelings of being second best. Or she could meekly think of others, consider their feelings and make a decision accordingly. Fierceness would certainly make that subordinate to take notice and never breathe the name “Sarah” again. But meekness would respect how Sarah ran her household and gently institute changes that hurt no one.

How can one accomplish this seemingly impossible manner of heart? How does a woman manage to hold herself in dignity and to know her value when following a person like Sarah? Self worth is not to be compared to or viewed through another person. Each one of us was created with individual gifts, talents, abilities and worth.

Keturah settled in as the wife of a prominent and wealthy man. She created a comfortable home where her husband could be proud to host meetings or provide rest to travelers. She was a treasured companion and mother to children that Abraham could bounce on his knee and spoil. She knew her self worth and never tried to become a clone of Sarah or to compete with her predecessor.

Likewise we should not strive to be like the world which is flawed and presents a false set of values. Hollywood seemingly determines how we should look, behave and live. Chastity is laughed at, the word virgin mocked while multiple partners and two month marriages are deemed fun and normal. A woman is considered overweight and “plus” if she wears a size twelve after carrying and giving life to children.

Formerly firm but now saggy breasts that nourished babies receive skeptical glances and recommendations to plastic surgeons. Hardworking calloused hands that cook meals, clean homes and caress fevered brows are sneered upon because they do not sport long, painted porcelain nails.

Once one reaches the smarter stage in life when she relies more on her heart and less on her physical appearance, she is called a washed up wreck if she allows her hair to be gloriously grey. The lines at her eyes are not seen as character but as flaws to be ashamed of and hidden under layers of expensive makeup.

It really is hard for a woman to remain authentic under such scrutiny and rigid standards for a modern woman. Depression, despair, eating disorders, mental and emotional breakdowns are common in women and contribute to the breakdown of the family unit. This is because so many lovely ladies have no concept of who they are or even that they have a penny of self worth.

Who determines we must live according to these rules? It is people who find self worth in the ideals of man rather than the things of God. A modern day Keturah must be aware of what is going on in the world around her but not succumb to the treacherous moral values or look in that direction to find her self worth. She must turn to the One who made her and knows her heart, her strengths and weaknesses; the One who has a plan for her life.

Once one comes to understand just how much God values every precious woman, where does she go? How can she move into a place of rest and cultivate a meek spirit and demeanor?

This is the easy part. Read the Bible principles that refer to the fruits of the spirit. These are love, joy, peace, long suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness and temperance. Then we are told: “against such there is no law”. (Galatians 5: 22-23) That means nothing from the world or Satan the devil can overcome these attributes.

Concentrate on one at a time if necessary. If patience is lost and a voice is raised toward a loved one, a child perhaps, mentally visualize the fruit becoming bruised. Ask forgiveness from our loving Father God immediately. He will never refuse and stands ready to reach out in compassion and love. He is our example and the One to look toward. Then see that fruit polished and richly colored, perfect without blotches. That is the spirit becoming clean and pure.

Knowing that the Creator of the Universe and Maker of everything in it, loves us is empowering. How can one not have self worth when loved unconditionally? Meekness of heart naturally follows as His way of love is learned, received by us and passed on to others. Placing value on those we encounter in life causes one to realize that we too are important and worthy. That is a humbling moment when it occurs and automatically the head is bowed and the lips open in praise to the God who brought us to such a place.

And thus we draw ever closer to the Keturah who lived thousands of years ago and became an example of self worth and authenticity. Her example is still relevant in our own time and in our individual lives. Whatever the circumstances or challenges, standing on a firm foundation of integrity is essential. Never allow people, places or things to create a lie. You are not defined by what others say or compare you to but by what God says you are. And He calls you Daughter, Beloved, Child, Redeemed, so worthy that He sent you His only Son to make you whole.

Modern day Keturah, choose wisely the path followed, the advice taken to heart, the people held closely. And above all, seek to know Jesus who purchased everything you need for life and godliness with His own sacrifice. We are worthy only because of Him and He is so much more than we can ever truly understand. Stand tall, proud of who you are in Christ, yet meek and filled with God's grace when coming before the throne. Give Him praise and worship in gratitude and unquenchable love, dear daughter of Keturah.