Baby Monikers Gone Bad-What NOT To Name Your Baby
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What's In A Name?
Sticks And Stone May Break My Bones But A Weird Name will Always Hurt Me
Grace, Billy, Elizabeth and James. What is unusual about these names? Nothing at all is odd or screams “Look at me! I have a weird and unusual name!”However, it seems more and more that parents are opting for odd and different names for their new baby that flaunt “I am going to be someone great and fantastic because I have a really different label!”
Hollywood has great influence on society in general and as celebrities become increasingly creative in naming their affluent offspring, the adoring public follows suit. Numbers are popular baby names now. More than one hundred babies were named Seven last year even though they were not the seventh child, seven pounds or even seventh in line to inherit a throne! And months are always a great fallback. January, April, May and June have been around for a long time. Days of the week are getting popular also. Wednesday and Sunday are chosen more than others, perhaps to remind the family to worship on those days?
A Glamour model named her daughter Princess Tiaamii and Michael Jackson named his son Prince Michael after himself. I suppose these parents are determined their children will be royalty one way or another. This might be a good time to mention that Mr. Jackson named another child Blanket.
Other celebrity child names really break the boundaries of being considered a real name.
We present for your consideration: Seven Sirius, Audio Science, Calico, Jermajesty, Lark Song, Luna Coco Patricia, Aurelius Cy, Moon Unit sister to Diva Muffin and Dweezil, Rufus Tiger-brother to Tiger Lily and Lola Daisy, Bluebell Madonna, Memphis Eve, Satchel, Blue Angel, Diezel Ky-sibling to Denim Cole, Fifi Trixibell-sister to Peaches and Pixie, Fuchsia, Rain India, Sunday Rose (ok, so I like it!), Peanut Kai, Zuma Nesta Rock, Speck, Moxie CrimeFighter, Astrella Celeste-sibling is Oriole Nebula, Jazz Domino, Kyd, Pilot Inspektor, Sage Moonblood, and the list goes on forever limited only by imagination.
However some “normal” people choose names that boggle also: Ruger, Willow Forest, Precious Amber Star, BadAssPanda-really, Genitalia Marie, Miami Dolphin, MamaChristy, Crystal Shanda Lear, twins Candy and Sugar. Their last name is Cane, Toilet-pronounced twa-lay, Shamrock, Demon, Star, Perfection, Apple Joy, Cherry Pie and Jacel Candy (sisters), Version 2.0, NFL, Bamboo, last name is Tree, twins Orangello and Lemongello, Durango, Shadydee. Again, I could continue into infinity and never touch bottom.
I just want to remind parents that a weird name is not going to make your child stand out from the crowd. The name will, but the child will just be stuck spelling and explaining the rest of his or her life. And one day they will be signing legal documents and getting married. “I, BadAssPanda take you, Toilet for my lawfully wedded wife and we will have a child and name it Bidet.”
Consider a boring old safe name for your new baby and allow him to become an individual who makes his own way in the world. There is no shame in that at all. I hope this article has helped you all to stop and think before sticking an innocent child with a terrible, outlandish or trendy name.
Sincerely, Hyphenbird (yeah, I know)
A Boy Named Sue by Johnny Cash
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Dexis, you probably could add to my lists. I simply cannot comprehend why people feel the need to do this.
Thanks for reading and commenting.
Thanks Hyphenbird..I see all kinds of strange names in school setting but the spelling is what gets me. Does not sound like it is spelled at all but the worst part is when a rather irritated parent jumps on me for not saying their childs name right..UGGGG! I totally can relate..Thanks for bringing this to light.
Sunnie
Sunnie, I know what you are saying. I used to be a photographer at a large family studio. I saw that same thing. I wondered how someone could make a 3 syllable word out of a simple name like Jane. I know a child named Corinne but it is spelled Kawren.
Thanks for reading and the comment.
This is great. A friend of mine whose surname was "Rea" was going to call their new daughter Diana? I pointed out that if you shortened her name to "Di", which her friends most surely would do, the result was going to be a nasty toilet problem!!!! Why do people lumber their children with a name that they think is cute and the poor child will hate for life?? :-)
Ohhhhh! The things people do to children. And I suppose sometimes they just don't think. Bless you for saving your friend's child from a tormenting childhood. Thanks for the great comment!
What a fun and interesting hub Hyphenbird. I love Bumpsys' comment above lol! I have also been shocked by what some friends have named their pets. Cracks me up!
Sharyn, I love it too. Those people were not thinking ahead at all! I am so glad you liked this one. I had fun researching and putting it together. Pet names do get really odd, may be a Hub in that.....
My pleasure as always :-)
I always wanted to have two girls and name them Genra and Cliche. That sounds pretty, right? I've actually gotten a little flack for being named Adam, usually having something to do with Eve. Hey Adam, where's Eve? Ha ha ha ha ha. lol. It's kinda funny. Then there's Madam Adam. I made that one up, myself. It didn't stick, though. I guess any name can be made fun of really.
I've just been reminded that one of my female cousins married a "Smith", she called her first girl child Cleopatra, bad huh, but wait...the second boy child she called Mark Anthony!!! Awful :-/
@Q, I guess you are right, everything is funny in the right hands and the wrong mind! At least your name isn't Lincoln Logg!
Bumpsysmum, no she didn't! Some folk just cannot accept the fact that they are regular people and will never be royalty.
Not a blood relation I hasten to add!! But yes, quite bonkers!
:-)
As you stated, names have certainly changed. My Sister's Son named his Daughter Precious. Your article is cute and interesting. Thank you.
always exploring, thanks for stopping by. I see that babies really are "precious" and "Heavenly" and so on. But does one wish a boss or stranger calling them that when they are an adult? I don't know. But it is interesting to see.
I am glad you like this Hub.
In my own family tree I have an an aunt whose name is Easter, and her brother's name was Argyle, my grandmother's sister was Pleasant, and her great-uncle was also named Pleasant, but it was names like Shannyn Sossaman's child, Audio Science, and Jason Lee's Pilot Inspektor that made me start to ask Why do we choose these names.... Great read!
Hello K. Burns Darling. Yes, one wonders what the parents were thinking. I can see Easter and even learn to manage Pleasant. Argyle? Hmmmm
Thanks for the visit and sharing the great information with us.
Loved this read! Anybody remember 'A Boy Named Sue'?? When my daughter was born 30 yrs ago, we had several names selected, but none of them really grabbed us. We had decided the old standard Stephanie for a girl was a good probable; another was the very-English Chloe (for other reasons--might do a hub that one!). When she was born, however, we took one look at her and decided nothing fit. He said, "she's as pretty as .... " and I (not being a 'rose person') said "if you say rose, I'm leaving you!" Beachcomber that I am, he said, "No, I was gonna say seashell." So "Shell" it was, but we put the Stephanie in front. We all forgot the Stephanie--it still doesn't fit, and she has had horrid problems using only her middle name, but she's happy w/it (thank god), and it's not really off-the-charts, so all okay. Except for once, when we left her ob-gyn (a real nut--fun and a friend--delivered her!) and he asked her if she was conceived on the beach, she's never had a problem w/her name, except make sure people understood it wasn't shortened from anything!
I do remember A Boy Named Sue! Do you mind if I put the video on here?
Shell is a lovely name. I can see how people might think it a short for Shelly etc. Compared to Toilet, it is a joy!
Thanks for the visit and always wonderful comment.
Think we'd probably all like the video! And I've gotta admit, I'm glad Shell's happy w/her name and makes it clear it isn't Shelly, etc.!
I am going to post the video right now! Thanks. Good for Shell, I think it is a lovely name.
Me, too. Your hub just hit my recall button, and I'm glad we didn't go too far from shore!
Ab-fab and enjoyable read. And thx for finding me and becoming a follower.
Hi C-Bless. Glad you liked it and I am honored to be your follower.
Its just not fair to give your kid a weird name, they should at least have a normal middle name or something.
I agree daisy. A kid needs a fighting chance. Thanks for the visit.
Growing up with a name that seemed meant for the other gender was bad enough in "the old days" when I was young. I can only imagine what it will be like for today's children growing into adults (and beyond, into old age) with such oddities for names as you've listed. What is wrong with parents who tack these monikers onto their children? Don't they have a clue?
Jaye
Jaye, I believe parents only think of themselves and not what the child will live with and through. And to think that I only scratched the surface. It is just crazy.
With the e on your name, I never even related it to a boy's name but now I can see how it might cause some issues as a child. All this makes me love simple names like Jane, Mary and Bob all the more.
thanks so much for all the Hubs you are visiting. You are the best. HB
I agree with you, I think the parents are narcissists whose only thought is for themselves. 'Look at me, how different and non-conforming and outrageously creative I am, compared to the rest of you.' If they had an ounce of empathy for their kids, they wouldn't do such a thing. I believe Woody Allen's son, Satchel, renamed himself. Loved the vid! Thanks for sharing!
Hi there visionandfocus. How nice of you to visit. I hear such crazy names and feel badly for the children. And you are so right, it is about the parents with little to no consideration for the children. I really did find one named toilet (twalay) and one named Bidet (biday). Just crazy.
Have a great evening. Hyph
When I was a child, my father had a friend named Harry Butz. The last name would have been bad enough but when combined... I also went to school with Kandy Kane, Candy Cane, and Horatio. My mom drove a school bus and she said that the kids with odd names ALWAYS had behavioral problems. I tried to encourage my children to not get too creative. The fad for creative names is really sad.
Oh no. That poor guy. I always wonder "WHY?" Perhaps the parents are immigrants and don't get the connotation or just don't care. I agree that this fad is sad and it is dangerous. That "cute" name on a cute baby is going to be on a grownup one day. I go to church with a lady named "Stardust." Now it is cute but she is in her 50's and probably would love to be called a simple, yet lovely name like Jane.
Funny hub! I think that some of the names out today, particularly those chosen by celebrities, are ridiculous. I'd hate to grow up as Apple.
Hello gottaloveit. I sure have heard some wild names. I would not want to grow up with those names either. I don't care who your parents are, Apple is going to get you teased. I am glad you liked my take on this. Thanks for coming to visit.
Hyphenbird, this hub is on such a brilliant topic! I love how you wrote it- it's just so super funny! But how true, names are so important!
Hi Charlotte. I appreciate your appreciation of this Hub. I hewar the most ridiculous names and am constantly horrified for those children. Thanks for the visit.
Appalling names indeed. I always felt bad for Dweezil Zappa. How'd you like that on your tombstone. Individuality does not come by a name as you state. It comes from being you, and how you live your life. I am sure most of these names will leave a trail of unpleasant memories, except for Sunday Rose, I love it.
Hi lambservant. I like Sunday Rose also, it is just pretty. Those Zappa people were just cruel in the names they placed on their children. Really parents just need to use common sense.
Haha. I wrote one of these what not to name the baby hubs some time ago. People seem to have gone off the deep end with the weird names, though occasionally, I am also glad that I am past baby making age because I actually like some of the odd names that I hear. My son knows a young lady named La-a. Pronounced Ladasha, but they put an actual dash into her name instead of letters.
Hi Delores. That name is SO awful. The poor girl will be spelling it every day of her life. Those parents were thoughtless and even cruel. Unique can be great, odd is well, just odd. Thanks for coming by and leaving your great comments.
Any name that is based on a joke is also bad.
I agree entirely Tamara!
DexisView Level 2 Commenter 13 months ago
Couldn't agree more. As an HR person I see all kinds of outrageous names. Nothing surprises me any more when it comes to names....or at least almost nothing :)